| The
Dress Code, Handled with Emotional Intelligence
by Susan Dunn, M.A., The EQ Coach™ |
It
strikes terror in the heart of some of us, while
others ignore it completely. Some of us are relieved
there is one; others of us resent it. The Dress
Code: Does it affect your career, affect whether
you’re hired or not, affect how you’re treated
on the job? Definitely.
How do you ‘manage’ this particular area of your
life? It requires emotional intelligence – some
awareness, creativity, flexibility and intuition,
and a whole lot of common sense.
For instance, in former years I applied for a job at
a major international law firm. At the interview, we
were handed one sheet of instructions. The second
item they chose to put on this piece of paper was,
“Since you have chosen to work in a conservative
work environment...”
It went on to outline their strict dress code. Two
of us were hired. The other one later complained to
me about the dress code there. I maintain - she knew
when she signed up, she agreed to it, she had no leg
to stand on.
If you like to work out certain, um, conflicts in
your life via the dress code, that’s your choice.
Otherwise, here are some tips.
THE POLICY
Believe what you read. Part of EQ is
reality-testing. If you’re a free spirit who likes
to express herself through wardrobe and accessories,
don’t work for a conservative law firm. Being
provocative is not emotionally intelligent.
THE REALITY
There’s the P&P manual, and then there’s
what really goes on. They don’t always coincide.
Once you’re hired and working, EQ would suggest
that you observe those around you and fit in.
“When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”
THE BASICS
·Start with neat and clean. No rumples, stains,
frayed edges, hanging hemlines. Your clothes should
look and smell clean and tidy.
·Make sure your clothes fit.
·Go easy on trends. A zebra-striped accent is okay.
A total zebra look …save it for a social occasion.
·Watch “heaviness”. Don’t load yourself down
with big jewelry or weighty fabrics.
·Watch what you do around your face. You should
‘set your face off,’ not outshine it.
·Aim for a smooth look – no underwear lines, for
instance.
·Get the classics. The Little Black Dress really
can get you everywhere – wear the right ‘tone’
of jewelry depending on your skin tone – pearls,
gold, silver, it makes all the difference.
Experiment. Black slacks and a white blouse (ivory,
if you look sick in white, like I do) can take you
anywhere.
·De-clutter. Less is more.
·Look at yourself in the mirror and see what you
see.
If you’re applying for work at a business or
corporation, err on the side of conservatism. If you
work in an artistic field, you will, of course, have
latitude. You likewise have some latitude if
you’re really good in a highly competitive filed.
Though I might not go so far as my young friend and
computer genius with the 4.0, who told me, “I
could show up for an interview with a bone in my
nose and they’d hired me.”
CASUAL DAY
Often a nightmare for managers. Have you seen that
memo circulating the Internet that starts out
“Starting May 1 we will have Casual Day on
Fridays”, proceeds through ”dashikis, turbans,
bikinis, and gold lame jumpsuits are not...” and
ends with “Casual Day has been canceled.”
Some companies use phrases like “client dress
code” and “meeting dress code” to help the
good-taste-challenged. If they don’t, use your
common sense, quintessential EQ. If there’s a big
meeting, or clients coming to the office, dress
accordingly.
WHAT’S IN & WHAT’S OUT
The other day a friend of mine (we live in TX) was
heading for the D. C. area and asked for my advice
re: wardrobe. I told her no florals, no bright
colors...” She interrupted with “How do YOU
know?” Well, because I get around. I look around.
I care.
My family moved every 2-3 years when I was growing
up and in the summers I went to my grandmother’s
in a rural Texas town. I got tired of being made
fun, so I learned to learn quick. “Being made fun
of” in the adult world can mean missing
promotions, or being fired.
SO HOW TO FIND OUT MORE?
·People-watch. When you see someone well
put-together, who looks really good, analyze why.
Color? Fabric? Accessories or lack of them?
·People-ask. I can’t think of anything more
flattering than to be asked how I manage to look so
good. Ask and you can learn theory. One thing
you’ll likely pick up, a la EQ, is that the person
delights in dressing as they do. They’re having
fun. They’re creative. Then remember, “Imitation
is the sincerest form of flattery.”
·Read magazines. Find some middle-of-the road
magazine, something down-to-earth. Try “Marie
Claire.” It’s a bit pricey but you can apply
what you learn in a resale shop. FOR INSTANCE: They
have “The Best Jeans to Flatter Your Shape.”
“Great-fitting jeans are the ultimate wardrobe
essential—and the hardest to find,” they say. I
agree. The editors’ pick for all figures happens
to be $138, but I’d pay that just to see if they
actually flattered me: http://magazines.ivillage.com/marieclaire
.
·Watch tv shows with fashion in mind. Anchor people
are good, too.
·Use the Internet.
·Watch who compliments you. One time I had on
something I will not describe to you, and a teenaged
boy with purple spikey hair and 5 earrings brushed
past me in the store and said, “Like, dude, cool
outfit.” It went in the trash. What was I
thinking?
·Work with a coach.
Like everything else, dressing appropriately and
attractively can be learned, and it can make a
difference in your life. The greatest accessory you
can have is self-assurance. If you do your homework,
you’ll know you look right, and then you’ll feel
right. Personal Power!
|
| About
the Author |
©Susan
Dunn, M.A., Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach.
Executive and individual coaching, EQ-culture
programs for organizations, Internet courses on
emotional intelligence. http://www.susandunn.cc ,
and mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine, “EQ
in the Workplace.” Please put “EQ” for subject
line. Increase your EQ and everyone benefits.
|
|
