| 6
Mistakes In Goal Setting
By Kathy Gates, Professional Life Coach |
You're
frustrated. You're confused. You
dutifully follow Goal Setting 101
advice, but it still seems that you lose
sight of what you want and how you'll
get it. See if any of these common goal
setting mistakes - and how to correct
them - are behind your frustrations.
Make the adjustment, and try again.
1. Sticky
Goals: It's easy to get
plugged into a goal, and even though
it's not working, you hang on to it out
of sheer habit or willfulness. That sets
you up for procrastination and
frustration. Rethink the goal by
concentrating on the big picture - the
direction you want your life to go -
instead of the specific way to get
there. Maybe the goal to own a Million
Dollar house is about wanting freedom
and autonomy. Maybe the goal to write a
NYT bestseller is really about wanting
recognition for your talents. Focus on
the feelings that you are after instead
of the one-and-only way to get it.
2. Transparent
Goals: If you examine your
goals you may find that you have no
*plan* associated with your goal.
Generally the mistake here is that
'goals' and 'actions' have become
confused. Instead, think Goal, Strategy,
Action. The Goal is the objective, what
you want. The Strategy is the overall
way in which you'll accomplish it. And
The Action is the specific activity that
is required to achieve it (how you'll do
it). Example: You might have big picture
goal of a healthier lifestyle. The
strategy associated with that might be
to eat less and exercise more. The
ACTIONS might be "don't eat after
6:00 pm", and "walk 30 minutes
after the 6:00 news every weekday".
3.
Contradictory Goals: This is
a common mistake in goal setting--two or
more goals with opposing results.
Marriage counselors see it a lot in
people who want the benefits of being
married without giving up the single
lifestyle. Or maybe you have a goal to
spend more time with your family, but
you have a job you want to do well at
that requires a lot of face-time.
Contradictory goals will frustrate you
to no end, because you've given
yourself an impossible task. Evaluate
your goals in light of their
relationship to each other.
4. False Goals:
These are goals that involve chasing
money, approval of others, etc. If you
want to become a doctor just to win the
approval of your parents, that's a false
goal. Or if you want to become a doctor
just because of the money you'll earn,
that too is a False Goal. You'll find
yourself constantly looking for external
motivation to keep you moving forward.
Or you'll find that no matter what you
say your goal is, you just can't move
forward on it. It may be that it's not
an expression of the authentic you. Find
the courage to tell the truth about what
you really want in your life.
5. Floating
Goals: These goals are
floating around in your head, usually
masquerading as a wish list. Writing
down goals (and strategies and actions)
takes them out of the *wishing* category
and gives them roots to
grow. It's no longer just a pipe dream
in your head. Now you can simply filter
all decisions (big and small) through
your goals does it contribute to my
goal, or detract from it? Example: You
have a goal to write a best selling
romance novel, with a strategy of
writing one chapter each week for 36
weeks, and your action is to spend 1
hour per day towards each chapter. If
you don't schedule - AND PROTECT - that
1 hour each day, it's more than likely
that you'll get to the end of each week
wondering why you didn't get more done.
6. Blind Goals:
No matter how nicely laid out the goals,
strategies, and actions are if you don't
SEE them and review them, and let them
become part of who and what you are and
do, on a daily basis, you'll lose track
of them. The job, the errands, the
latest TV show, worrying about money,
worrying about kids, worrying about the
economy will all crowd out your time,
thoughts, and energy. They may remain in
the back of your mind, but you won't
gear your life towards them. Post them
on the 'fridge, in the car, on the back
door, on the bathroom mirror anywhere
that you'll see them regularly.
------
Kathy Gates, Professional Life Coach,
helps people set priorities and goals,
take actions, make changes, and reshape
their lives. She is the author of an
Ebook and several Email Coaching
Programs available at
www.reallifecoach.com, call 480.998.5843
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